The question of “Why”

The introduction is a political one – if you don’t feel like it, you are welcome to skip it.

Sexwork is multifaceted, sexworkers are multifaceted, the “why” is multifaceted. The image given by movies and media is not: Sexwork is often being associated with exploitation, with abuse, with violence, with coercion. In crime novels, sex workers are usually the victims, whether physically or psychologically, in romantic comedies the woman has to be saved by Richard Gere.

These stories are not necessarily untrue. What is a rule and what is an exception, I cannot judge. In any case, the one-sided representation does not do reality justice. But for a society in which women who live sexually freely – in the same way that men have always done – are not accepted, it is easier to view those very women as victims. Easier than perhaps considering the possibility that women like to have sex. That polygamy is not a male trait. That there are women who break social taboos, who do not follow the rules – not because they are forced to do so by men but because they want to.

If you’re already familiar with this world, you know it all, maybe better than me. If you’re not, then perhaps this contribution will take away your worries – your worries about taking advantage of somebody acutally in need of help, doing something you shouldn’t be doing.

So that you can be sure – if you haven’t yet read my website – that this is not the case with me, I would like to tell you about how i became who i am now- whether you call it escort, companionship or sexwork.

To meet the common clichés: “I’ve been there before”: I don’t have any children, I have to get you through. I don’t have an addiction that I try to satisfy. I had a happy childhood And no, I don’t have a pimp (Please don’t misunderstand me, all this doesn’t automatically exclude self-determined sex work of course! I just want to show that there are other reasons).

During my studies I have always worked, mostly occasional jobs, never the same. I liked the excitement when no routine comes along. At some point I had the feeling that I had already done everything – I got bored. The thought of escort had been hiding in my head for quite some time. Sexually I have always been very keen to experiment, too curious about everything there is to discover to calm down. It seemed utopian to me to expect one person to fullfill all the expectations you have for life, love and sex. When I told friends about my double life, most of them reacted less surprised than I had expected – it was almost seen as a logical next step for me.

From time to time my plans became so concrete that I looked at agencies and informed myself. But at the same time, I also had horror stories in my head – about drugs, addiction and pimping. But…this picture didn’t really fit what I read and saw. I just was not able to get the idea out of my head. So I told myself I would write an e-mail, introduce myself and see what happens. I looked for an agency that looked as little like red light as possible. I decided to keep all ways open to myself, to exclude any dependence, financial and contractual. In order to be able to return at any time. Never to have to do anything.

I had my first date, my second and my third. I was excited and enthusiastic about the people I met – and who were not at all suitable material for horror shows.

Sometimes evenings don’t go as they should, sometimes I get into dicey situations. I still keep the possibility of being able to stop at any time open to myself – I have never even thought about it.